Miss Me, But Let Me Go

The woman I knew as Grandma passed away on Monday, the 14th of May 2012. When I first heard the news, I was deeply saddened, but I didn't fully understand what had happened. It took me a few days to fully grasp that her soul had been set free, she would be no more in body, but her spirit lives on as long as she's alive in my heart.
At church today, we discovered that she had listed the songs for her funeral, and a poem to be read out titled: Miss Me, But Let Me Go. I read the words, and my heart smiled. My heart smiled because the poem is simply my views on death, but in a poetic form.

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little - But not for long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me - But let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It's all a part of the Master's plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to your friends that you know,

And bury your sorrow in doing good works,

Miss me - But let me go.

These words lifted a burden off my heart.
She was a wonderful woman, and now is the time for us to remember her wonderful nature and celebrate a life well lived.
Like Wolfshiem in The Great Gatsby said, "Let us learn to show friendship for a man when he is alive, and not after he is dead." We all showed Mama our friendship in life, and she died in a state of grace.
Her soul is definitely in peace; in a glorious world, her soul is in peace.

Adieu grandma.

Thoughts: Fear of the Unknown.

What do you call the fear of the unknown?
I don't know, and I don't think I want to know.
I don't even know if the word I mean to use is "fear." I should explain what I mean. If I do find the words, of course.


People say that what you don't know won't hurt you. How true is that? There is an element of truth in this, of course.
But there's also an element of falsehood in it. What you DON'T know may not hurt you, but it is sure to send you to the Deuce and that in itself is worse than being emotionally afflicted.


Do you know what's horrible about this "fear"? It causes you to worry about things you needn't worry about. It causes you to think the worst of situations. It drives you nuts. Nuts, I tell you. To the extent where you feel as though there's a blitz in your head. 


What I mean is that not knowing something leaves you vulnerable to deep, incessant thought. When we start to think about things excessively, there is a tendency to think of the most absurd things. Our minds wander and pick up the most bizarre items they can find on these journeys, things we needn't think about. Things that do not even exist. How ridiculously wonderful!

It's horrible.
It's doing my head in.
And it won't stop.
Ah, I am afflicted.

Thoughts: On Love

I was going through my Gmail folders, and I came across a couple of things I wrote. I found this short piece on Love. So, here, I present to you my thoughts on love as at 17/11/2011.

"Love is simple, and people are complicated."
That's what she thought, that's what he felt, that's what they said.
But how true is it? Is the precision of this statement measurable? Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Who knows?
The thing is, in all actuality, the concept of love is simple. What is there to love? Not a lot, just love.
Sounds a very funny and silly thing to say, and perhaps do. You know, "just" loving. But it is easy.
So, so easy.
I have come to realise that just as love is different things in many languages, it also means different things in the English language.
I've been accused of talking of love as though I had any idea what love was. Truth is, maybe I do.
Love is.
Love is a personal gratification. Some times, it doesn't lead anywhere, it does not have to lead anywhere. It is but an end in itself.

Well.. I'm not sure how I feel about this right now.
But all I know is that, today (09/04/2012), I think that Love is what one needs to be completely Conscious. Once a person can achieve Unconditional Love, they can then claim to be one with God, to find Heaven. The highest level of Consciousness is Love, hence Jesus was said to have emphasised the importance of Love in His time.

Quote of the Night

"For those who have vision and the courage to follow it, there is no law and no crime and no punishment, only a revaluation of all values."

The Picture Of Dorian Gray: On Influence, Life, and Sin.

I was reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, a novel by Oscar Wilde, and I came across a passage that made me pause and reflect. Then I thought I'd share it - it's not particularly nice to keep the best things to oneself, words included.
I just think everyone should appreciate this passage, basically. It is a conversation between Dorian Gray himself and a man named Lord Henry Wotton.

Here goes:

'Have you really a very bad influence, Lord Henry? As bad as Basil says?'

'There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr Gray. All influence is immoral - immoral from the scientific point of view.'

'Why?'

'Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of someone else's music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self. Of course they are charitable. They feed the hungry, and clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is the secret of religion - these are two things that govern us. And yet -'

...

'And yet,' continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with that graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of him, and that he had even in his Eton days, 'I believe that if one man were to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream - I believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we would forget all the maladies of medievalism, and return to the Hellenic ideal - to something finer, richer, than the Hellenic ideal, it may be. But the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The mutilation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial that mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind, and poisons us. The body sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode of purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of a pleasure, or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also...'

----

Phew! It's a lot to take in, I know, but it is worth taking in. Just let the your mind intoxicate itself with these words, and reflect upon how you feel afterwards.

Words, mere words. How can they make one so euphoric?

Praise Song For My Mother

 You gave me

The kiss of life

Like rich airs from secret shores

You gave me

A ray of hope

Like a coin of gold in the sky

You taught me

Never to dwell on limitations

                                     Now I flow with hope

You are to me

Water

One that allows flowers to blossom

Like a daisy,

I gleam

Silver, safe and proud

                                       You are my mother.

 

There are a lot of things in life I'm not sure about;

but, one thing I do know is that

I'm glad you're my mummy.

You always say we can't choose our family,

and I'm truly satisfied with this union.

In troubled times, and in happy moments,

I have never wished for anyone else.

I'm trying to think of the most important lesson I've learnt from you,

but it's hard. It's hard because everything you say holds a certain degree of significance

that to pick one would be nothing but poor on my part.

There are some things I've learnt that I don't know of

until someone points it out that I've done something in a certain way,

and I think: Oh my God, mummy does this, too!  Then I giggle to myself, haha.

I also love the way everyone says: Ah, Yosola, you look like your mummy too much. Ah ahn, carbon copy.

Then I remember the days you'd say: Yes, she looks like me facially, but our characters are different. Veeeery different, ah this Yosola, naughty girl.

Ah, it really is so easy to love you. I'm actually marvelled at how much love I feel right now.

Every word you speak, every thing you touch, every day you're alive, I thank my stars.

I thank my stars that you're still here, and I hope that you'll be here for long.

When we do something bad/wrong, you say, "anyway, me I don't have a mother, my mother died when I was young! I will not be here forever, if you don't appreicate me, that's your business, I've done my part!"

And we all feel bad for 30 minutes, then try to correct our wrongdoings. 

It's amazing.

Sometimes I wish I could share my mum with the world,

but I'm human - I'm greedy. Then again, I already share with 5 people; that's too many people in its own right.

When people say human beings are not perfect,

I think: Wait till you meet my mummy dearest - she's saintly!

Happy birthday.